Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
