Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
