we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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