he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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