Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Couch. On fire.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
