just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize