my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
