i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Randomize
