I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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