My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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