your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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