WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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