I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
