Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My vagina is officially offended.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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