Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he thought i was a dude.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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