And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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