i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
