oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
