Duck Duck Cougar?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
