She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
