I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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