We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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