I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
