STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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