If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize