Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
