This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
