The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
