FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
