alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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