oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
