She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Pooping to opera.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
