May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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