Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
