So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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