:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think my vagina is haunted
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
