Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
