i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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