Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
