Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize