you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
