Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
