I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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