New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
