Hey man sorry I got all grabby
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize