No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
