Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
