dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
