Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Will exercising make me less horny?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
