He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
