took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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