the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
