Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
