he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
