I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
