they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
