Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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