I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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