we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
