I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
