either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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