i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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