We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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