like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
