why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
My pussy is not your playground.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
ok first of all what the fuck
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
