He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
