his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm at about main and main street
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
