I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
